Today

It's the day before Christmas Eve. We are in a hotel still. By choice. Hmph.

My friends who live elsewhere still put their kids on the schoolbus today! Whoa nelly, I'm tellin' ya, I'd have probably kept my gang home today. That is, if I were actually AT home and not in hotel on the day before Christmas Eve.

New signs are appearing in hotels lately.

Sign #1: Blah Blah Blah waste of water blah blah waste of energy blah if you'd like, you may hang your towel up and reuse it. If you'd like to help save even more of our precious natural resources and make yourself feel like a wonderful caring resource friendly person, leave this sign on your bed and we will make it but won't waste all our resources giving you clean sheets.

Waaaaait a minute... isn't that why I'm paying a gazillion dollars to stay here? So I can have the luxury of fresh towels and fresh sheets daily? If they want me to reuse my towels and sheets, just like at home, then can't they lower the price? Hell, leave me a vacuum and I'll get the kids in on it too - just like at home. Sheesh... and now I feel like a wasteful irresponsible shmuck.

Sign #2: Since so many of our customers appreciate our fine accomodations, we'd like the opportunity to offer you a price list so that upon your departure we can charge you up the yingyang for all the shite you stold from us: Ironing Board - $40, Iron - $25, Bath Sheet - $20 yadda yadda yadda.

First of all, no, seriously folks, how in the heck do you take an ironing board from a hotel room? Do you wrap it in one of those 'bath sheets' and slip it out the side door into your SUV? And then what? Give it to someone for Christmas? If you can't afford your own ironing board, you can't afford to stay in THIS hotel! And 'Bath Sheet'? Gimme a break. Even in this semi luxurious hotel with nice shampoo and free wireless hookup, the towel is not, and I do mean NOT, a bath sheet. I actually have bathsheets at home. This is just a towel. Not a puny one, like at the last hotel, where the stinkin towel wouldn't even wrap all the way around you, but still, aren't we a little presumptious to call it a bath sheet?

I left a sign of my own:

Dear Housekeeping Staff: sorry for the mess in the bathroom. Though I really enjoyed the coffee pot being strategically placed so I could brew coffee and pee at the same time, it did offer a slight challenge since I was tired from staying up late reading all the TT's from yesterday. So... sorry 'bout that. It's just coffee, it won't hurt you. Oh, and the gingerbread house! Isn't it lovely? Bear was promised that we'd do it on our vacation and last night was our last night so... and yeah, sorry about the ice bucket but see, I didn't read the directions for the gingerbread house first and didn't realize I needed a beater and bowl. I used the ice bucket and that handy dandy ball point pen and it all turned out ok so don't worry. It's cute huh? You can have it. Now that it's decorated Bear doesn't really want it anymore. Besides, it's still 6 hours home and I dont' want the crumbs in my van. Merry Christmas.

We should be home by late afternoon. Gotta get the dog from doggie daycare and do a gazillion loads of laundry. Welcome home eh?