What Counts?

There are 6 regular pillows. 4 in cases (2 each!) and 2 in shams that match. There are 4 'decorative' pillows and one armchair pillow. This means that there are a total of 9 pillows on my queen size bed. 9 delightful fluffy comfy welcoming beckoning pillows. When you open the door to my bedroom, you are confronted with the sight of a luscious white comfortor and 9 pillows in Claret, in Merlot, in Scarlet, with touches of gold and butterscotch. It's a sight, a delicious and hard to resist sight.

When I make my bed, I place each individual pillow in precise positions depending on color and shape. I often wonder if it's 'right' and I often fret over it. I worry if it looks ok, if it looks good, it it looks 'perfect'. Like it matters. Like, it's important. You know.

When my husband makes the bed, which is nearly every single day God Bless His Soul, I have no idea what drives him to place the pillows in the way he does. Does he carefully consider that some are smaller than the others? That the multicolored ones offset the solid color ones? That the ones in cases should go with the opening toward the middle of the bed? Does he carefully monitor who gets which pillows? I don't know. I don't know because, when he makes the bed, it all looks just right to me. It looks ok, it looks good, it looks perfect. And maybe, just maybe, when he makes the bed, he simply tosses the pillows on in whatever order he picks them up off the floor... and the truth is that it doesn't matter.

All my wasted worry. All my wasted fretting. All my wasted time in pillow placement has not changed my life or made it better... or worse. The real truth is, letting go of the desire for perfect pillow placement has made my life better. My husband, has made my life better.

Thanks babe... for your perfect pillows.