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2. I read a book once about child abuse. I think the title was something like, "I know why abusers abuse" or whatever... it laid truth to how angry a parent can actually get and how acknowledging that anger and accepting it is ok as long as you refrain from acting on it. Tonight I was at the end of my rope: been working all week to clean up the house for potentially showing it, working to neaten it up so Merry Maids can get in here, working to do all the laundry so we can pack and be ready to leave tomorrow after work, and just working in general at work... you know, going non-stop. But then when helping my son pack his clothes for this upcoming weekend, I found some things I had JUST folded and put on his bed that he "put away" - stuffed right into the dirty laundry basket still folded... I totally flipped. I yelled a bit and then left the room - a reasonable and mature choice, but the desire to physically lash out was pretty intense. VERY intense. It was... humiliating. It brought me to a very humble and low place. It's not a bad place to be really... 3. I have come to the horrifying conclusion that my blog is category-less. It's not really a mommy-blog even though I am a mommy, and it's certainly not a housekeeping or cooking blog (even though I do those things) it's not a homeschool blog (and I do that too!) and it's definitely not an intellectual/political/religious blog... cuz I'm not that intelligent/political/religious. I'm... aimless... so... is there a category for 'aimless'? I might actually have a BoB chance at aimless... 4. I was on a serious hard core diet regime... for 4 days. See #2 above and that is the reason I am sitting here blogging with a humongo peice of two layer vanilla with chocolate buttercream frosting cake and a humongo water glass of rum and coke... which has destroyed my serious hard core diet... but... wth... I don't really care. That could be the rum talking. But it could just be me. 5. I did MORE decluttering today: finished the master closet, cleared off dresser tops in the master bedroom, and did a fancy "rolled towel" thing in the master bath. I also cleaned out the fridge which was kinda scary actually. If something that is more than a year old doesn't have mold or a weird smell or taste, well, that's just wrong. I tossed it... how many preservatives can something in the fridge have? Add to that, it was SUPPOSED to be all natural and preservative free. Sheesh. 6. I'm ready for our 4 day vacation and house hunting spree. I am ready for meatballs and sauce made by my friend Karen, ready for snow and cold, ready for my old church and their awesome worship session, ready for wearing mittens and a hat and a scarf, ready for a vacation from #2 up above. 7. I saw a client yesterday that made me seriously wonder why some of my clients are such losers and some of them are such successes when ultimately they all have the same basic issues, backgrounds, and resources. The client today was a success... and I kept telling her that so she would always know that I thought so. It's amazing how far a few words can go. 8. Today I see the one client who I had to tell that I would call CPS if she didn't make some significant changes. I tried calling her to confirm our appointment but got no response. I hope she is there. 9. Do you remember where you were on 9/11? Do you remember what you were first thinking? 10. I hate flying and I am not looking forward to that part of our trip this weekend. Takeoffs make me nervous but it's the landings that totally freak me out - what if we don't stop in time? What if the brakes don't work? What if the wing dips too low and hits the ground and we somersault into a huge fireball? What if my kids are left without parents? What will happen to Chick? Will she be torn between my cousin and her father? Will my cousin fight hard enough for her? AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! Stop it stop it stop it! No more thinking! More drinking! 11. The kids will be with my stepdad and his wife for 4 days. First time. They've never even stayed ONE night there. Never even stayed there alone... it feels way too weird. But I had no other choices and really, I think that my step dad is looking forward to it. When Chick was tiny, ages 9 mo's to 3 yrs, we lived with my step dad and my mom. I think my stepdad misses Chick, misses that time frame, misses my mom. I think having my kids there makes him feel closer to us. I'm sure they'll be fine. Really. Yep... really. Unless the plane crashes... 12. I hope to read blogs while I'm away, but I don't know if I'll post - I will just be too busy and when I'm not busy I'll be with my friend Karen and I put her WAY above blogging! Sorry, but true! 13. Does your neck make noise when you turn your head to the far left or right? A weird squeaky crispy noise? No? Hmmmm... How about if you tilt it so your ear heads down toward your shoulder? A little crunch? Any popping or...scraping? No? Hmmm... maybe I should get it checked? But if the plane crashes I guess it won't matter. 14. Whoops, it's Thursday 13 not 14. I guess I'm done now... maybe I need more of that cake? Or rum... or both... Links to other Thursday Thirteens! |
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22 comments:
My blog is aimless too - maybe we should suggest a new category:-)
9/11 I was working at home on the computer & my husband phoned me to tell me to watch the news. I remember thinking "how?" and "why?"
I've just started this Thursday Thirteen thing, you can check out my list here
9/11 I was driving to class when I heard the first plane hit, didn't think anything of it. Went through my class and drove home and heard the 2nd plane hit. I saw the towers fall on live TV. Its something you never forget.
Here's my Thursday Thirteen
I personally wish you a great vacation with that fabulous diet of yours.
And, #1 used to be a problem for me (heck, even ordering in restaurants)!
What a great list! I loved it. I think there is a lot of important info in your 13 and I hope everyone will take the time to REALLY read it and REALLY think about it. I am working on "boundaries" myself in my adult relationships. Happy TT!
Awesome list. I seriously need to declutter areas of my house. My 13 are up!
I want some of that cake - YUM! Sounds delicious. Have a great trip.
No more thinking! More drinking! And eating cake! Yummy!
My neck makes that sound...get it checked!
Have a great trip.
My 13 are up!
Decluttering! I forgot to mention that. Anyway, my 13 are up.
Save the cake and rum for the flight -- you'll enjoy them much more, the flight too! My 13 are up!
STOP talking about the plane crashing!
I wonder sometimes what if one of my blogger friends had some horrible accident or died suddenly? Would I ever know or would their blog just sit there?
9-11 I was in the hospital. I was having irregular heartbeats and the monitor I was on told my doctors that something was screwy.
So I spent the night there.
I was eating my grand hospital breakfast watching GMA when it happened.
You could hear the fear and confusion in Charlie and Diane's voices as they tried to report it and figure out what the hell was going on.
I am saddened that people seem to have almost forgotten those feelings in the years since.
Remember how united the country was then?
For a few short months anyway.
I know what you mean about a blog being aimless. I've been having a hard time with that too....
Happy Thursday!
Mine are up.
Diary of the Nello
On 9/11 I was laying in a hospital bed when I turned on the TV I saw the second plane hit....all I could think of was Please God get me home to my family...I begged my dr to send me home that day, and he did. I didn't care how sick I was, I just wanted to be with my family.
Have fun on your trip! Happy Thursday!
on 9/11 I woke up to hear the TV on rather loudly (probably MIL's attempt to get me up) and walked out to see what was going on and saw the replay of the first plane...then I saw the second plane on replay... just staired in disbelief. I asked MIL if this was real. A few minutes later we watched as the towers fell. I was still watching from upstairs over the landing in my pjs...'cuz darly was asleep in bed and I wanted to be near her when she woke.
And my neck makes to funny noises too, but I think I know why.
My 13 are up. http://lillyput.blogspot.com
Is it wrong to be category-less? My neck doesn't make noises like that, just my tummy when I think of the humungo rum and coke - can I have a drink?
Have fun, and don't worry about the flight, you'll be fine.
:)
Thanks for coming by today. They don't have categories for "fluff and stuff" as that would definitely define my blog. Have a great trip. Same time next Thursday?
There are two things I think about while flying. One is, OMG, what if this plane just FALLS out of the sky? Would we survive? And two, OMG I'm breathing in recycled air...germs are being circulated and recirculated throughout this cabin. YUCK! LOL.
I am waaaayyyy behind in checking my 13s this week. Mine is up.
I enjoy reading your "aimless" blog! I think I channeled #1 and #3 directly into your mind when you thought you were thinking up your T13 - surely I actually wrote those!
Hey...we can be aimless together!!
9/11..hmmm..driving down Rt 66 to a friends house with my son. I remember thinking "Who would be dumb enough to crash a plane into the Twin Towers...Oh Sh*& two planes! Somethings wrong." I spent the rest of the day shielding my then 3 year old's eyes from the t.v.
ahhh to eat cake... I love cake.... I can't eat cake... have some for me...
LadyBug
I think we have quite a bit in common! I too have an aimless blog! It's sad isn't it? Don't sweat the flying! Those pilots go thru hours and hours and hours of flight time to train (I'm a private pilot in training) Turbulence is just waves in the air. have fun on your vacation Stacie
Aimlessness is good. Works for me.
My first son was just 6 days old on 9/11. I remember it vividly as though it was yesterday. My husband was working from home to help me out, and he saw in online. We watched the story unfold all day long, while clutching our newborn son.
I get so angry at my kids (who are only 2 and 4) some days that I just have to walk away steaming. And then I feel bad because what message am I sending to walk away like that? Sometimes, if the stress is really high (PMS, husband travelling, all of the above...) I will yell or scream at them. I think that book is on to something, because to get angry, then feel guilt over "human" feelings of anger only makes matters worse. Like a cycle.
I have found that saying I'm sorry when I've lost it and yelled (or even screamed) shamelessly at my kids goes a long way - both for me, and them. I've had to say more than once, that "Mommy is not perfect, but she loves you". Since getting in this habit, instances of "mean mommy" making an appearance have decreased. Now if only I could get them to stop fighting 24/7.
P.S. I hope all was well with your client. I see you are an infant case manager, and you mentioned threatening to call CPS. You must have one of the hardest jobs in the world, but most important jobs in the world, if you are looking out for the welfare of babies!
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