Is it too late?

Dear Beloved Children of my Loin (loin which has NEVER recovered I might add) , I got it together enough to figure out what I'd really like for Mothers Day. Last Weekend when Meme was gone, I pretty much got everything I'd wanted on my original list so while I was luxuriating in the aftermath this weekend, I came up with a new list. Ready?

I'd like for the clothes to magically make it from your floor INTO the laundry basket without me first picking up dirty socks from under the computer and the kitchen table and underwear from behind the bed and getting my two point shot in.


I'd like for the laundry baskets to magically get downstairs to the laundry room, get emptied, and then get themselves back upstairs without first having overflowed, been smashed down and overflowed again resulting in me sweating and cursing as I take the 75lbs of laundry downstairs... in my knee brace...

Also? Wow, what if the clothes got sorted into one of the three sorter bins...and each bin contained the same colors?? As in, white goes with white, jeans go with jeans... dude, that would rock!


I'd adore it if someone could remember to flush, if someone else could just admit to the fact that they always 'miss' and just wipe it up instead of allowing it to collect, drip off, and crust over before I find it. If someone else could decide that a bin of dirty diapers stinks and should be taken out and not left to sit until I gag upon opening the bathroom door it would be a bonus.


A favorite gift might be if someone could remember to spit INTO the sink and not all over the mirror, and could also wipe up the globby bits of toothpaste before it hardens into cement. It's quite easy really... running water, a little finger wipe and ta-dah!


Am I the only one who knows how to put new toilet paper on the roll? It's YOUR bathroom... I'm just saying.


If it isn't too much to ask, could someone please, just please, not even ALL the time but at least a few times a week, just put things BACK WHERE THEY BELONG when you are done? Hint: books, papers, pens, pencil sharpeners, toys, cups and plates, bags of popcorn, blankies, bathrobes, etc.


When I get the laundry out of the laundry basket to put it in the washer, usually the jeans are halfway inside out and your underwear is stuck in the one leg and one sock is stuck in the other. Your pockets are often full of tissue, pennies, crayons, flashdrives, candy wrappers, and other detritus. Can you maybe try untangling and un-inside-outing? Or at least empty your pockets... please?


One gift I would be thrilled to get, without a doubt, is if someone would see some garbage on the floor - like a scrap of paper or some peice of fuzz or a leaf or stray cheerio - and just pick it up instead of everyone trampling on it, around it, and over it, until I pick it up.


PICK UP YOUR SHOES! ahem. excuse me. We have a shoe rack... it's purpose is to hold your shoes. It's right there where it's always been. Use it.


There is this other thing we have... it's wonderful and I totally love it. I would never want to be without one so I can't imagine how ya'll go through the day without it. The closet. Yes, the door which, when opened, reveals a nice place to hang up your jacket so the cat won't pee on it, or to store your backpack so I won't trip on it for the 10th time, or to place your purse on a hook so you won't lose your driving permit, your wallet, your list of phone numbers, and the credit card you recieved for your last birthday. I've already been generously gifted with one of my own (a closet, that is), you each have one of your own, and then, lo and behold, there is an extra one right there by the door. Next to the shoe rack.


Sigh. It's just a few things, not so much really... just a couple of ideas. I could be asking for this or this or this. But no, I'm pretty easy to please actually. Although if I could get you to do this for one of my "busy" days, it would top every other thing!


Love, Mom
(finder of all things lost, chief picker upper, accredited and liscenced hugger, manager of The Gang)