I'll be back

Meme... I'm sorry. I'll be back... I promise! I promise I'll be back to hold you and rock you and snuggle you and kiss your squishy cheeks and zerbert your double chin and bicycle your plump legs and nibble your tiny corn kernal toes. I WILL be back.



I can't believe how hard it is to leave you. I'm leaving my kids, and although I worry they might cause undue stress to their caretakers, that they'll do something to embarrass me, that I haven't cleaned enough dust bunnies from under the bed... I don't worry that they will feel abandoned, deserted, denied, unloved, discarded, scared, worried, stressed, anxious... and anything else that I imagine you might feel.



I know it doesn't matter, but I tried sooooo hard and fretted and worried and despaired over where you would live during the 4 days I'll be gone. I know now that you'll be in the safest and most loving environment ever, and that you will have LOADS of fun, and that you'll even be able to see Bear and Chick and Buddy on occasion. I know that you will be safe, cared about, desired, devoted to, and doted on... but I worry that your little spirit will feel I've left you on purpose.



Oh meme, how you've wormed your way into my heart. Although I really hate your incessent screeching, it also makes me laugh... there is NOTHING you do that makes me feel anything other than laughter and joy and pride. Oh meme, surely you came directly from God to live in my heart... to live in the hearts of my children, to open the heart of my husband. Surely your life was meant to touch ours. Surely you were meant to be MY baby. Meme... Oh how I love you.



What will I do when they take you away? Send you back "home" to the parents who hurt you? What will I do with all the birthday presents I've already purchased, the Christmas gifts I'm planning and the stocking I've purchased so Santa can leave you treasures. Meme... I love you.



I WILL be back my love. I'm just going for a few days, you will be so happy and safe with your respite provider - didn't you have so much fun the few times we've been there to visit? Yes, you did. Maybe you won't even notice that I'm gone! Meme, I will be back. I'll be back to hold you and kiss you and rock you and drench you in my love.



I love you Meme... I love you.