How To (not) Have Fun (or, How to Lose an Entire Day)

Tues: wake up to discover you started your monthly womens club membership a second too late to save the white and blue bathmat. Drat.

Spend the day preparing to take the family and their friends to the annual Jimmy Buffett Tribute Band. Inflate the inflatable parrots, detangle the lei's, wash and assemble the coconut shaped cups, the pinapple shaped cups, and the parrot shaped cups. Find straws with attached parasols. Gather blankets, sweatshirts, deet laden bug killer, make lemonade from scratch and add strawberries, raspberries, and blackberries. Smile. Make Sangria. Call husband at work to reminisce about our first time drinking Sangria and then smile more, knowing that for the rest of his work day he will not be concentrating very hard on work. Remember that you started your monthly womens club membership today and curse. Continue to make Sangria - red wine, sugar, rum, peaches, nectarines, oranges and lemons and limes, raspberries and blackberries and Sprite. How much rum? Dunno, just dump some in. How much sugar? Dunno, dump some in. One bottle of wine...hmmm, not enough...open another. Now, add the sprite. Taste test... mmmmm! Refridgerate for later.

Go to tribute band. Drink Sangria. Eat hummus and pita and drink more sangria. Eat tabbouleh and pita and drink more sangria. Eat chocolate cookies and drink more sangria. Dance the conga around a bonfire. Dance with inflatable parrots. Make embarrasing remarks about lei's and oddly shaped large balloons to Chick's date. Go home. Go to bed.

Wednesday: wake up at 10:30 and guiltily jump up to offer 9 year old Bear and her friend some "brunch". Lie and say we don't have the right ingredients for French Toast but we do have some frozen waffles. Cut up some strawberries while the waffles are toasting to make up for my lie. Drink coffee, swallow Tylenol, and feel as if I've been in a car accident. Neck hurts? Check. Arms hurt? Check. Ribs hurt? Check. Back and hips? Check, Check. But there was no car accident, just the conga line. Remember vaguely that my husband was up for several hours in the middle of the night - sick. Poor guy. Shoo girls off to get dressed and brush teeth, make arrangements for Bear's friend to get picked up.

11:30 - husband wakes up. We compare notes - aching bodies, aching heads, feeling queasy. What fun. Are we too old for Sangria?

12 - Bears friend goes home. I go back to bed leaving hubs to watch TV with Chick.

2 - Hubs wakes me up - am I going to see Ratatooie with him and the girls? nope. not a chance. Where's the tylenol?

3:45 - vaguely aware that hubs had showered and that he'd called out goodbye. I get up. Must get up. Shower. Wash hair. Decide conditioner is too much effort. Decide shaving is too much effort today. Wash face with plain old ivory soap. Mistakenly wash body with hubs Irish Spring Icey Scent Deoderant Wash. Woo baby.

4 - brush teeth, admirabley only gagging twice. Head to kitchen. Dump frozen chicken tenders in a bowl and cover with appropriate marinade and hope they'll thaw. No gagging. Pour orange juice and take more tylenol having forgotten that I'd just brushed my teeth and the orange juice will taste awful. Admirabley, only gag twice. Once for each tylenol.

4:24 - Decide the laundry is too much effort. Decide the dishes are too much effort. Decide that going back to bed sounds like the right amount of effort. Decide to think about tomorrow, tomorrow.