Seeing her light

My Chick is lovely.

She is not who I thought she'd be though. I find this both interesting and frightening. It is such an odd thing to raise a person and give them values and morals and guidance and see them take what you've given them and use it in such a completely different way that it looks almost unrecognizable.

I haven't quite figured out who she is. I thought I knew her so well... but I don't know her at all. And I am grieving over that. My heart is literally breaking...

I saw her light today. I saw her eyes totally light up, interest just leapt from her face, and she stood straighter and smiled brighter and leaned in toward the thing that caught her attention. The thing she recognized as being a part of her. I saw this and my own heart leapt a little at watching someone I love so dearly, so passionately, find something that felt comfortable and safe. But then I saw what it was that enraptured her.

They were other teens... mohawked, pink haired, peirced, dressed in black, viewing computer images of someone in a gas mask. WTF?

WTF? Nuh-UH! No she di'NOT want to be like them! Did she?

My baby. My silky haired brown eyed mirror image, my funny witty story telling creative genius. My cookie baking book reading secret sharer... wants to be a part of something I don't even understand, something I can't understand. Something I am afraid of. What do I do? How do I get my girl back, or keep her from falling farther away? Or do I let go and let her live the life she was meant to live for herself?

This is gonna hurt isn't it?