Monday musings

Hope your halloween was fun... ours was... if a bit different than usual. This year, it was a busy evening and we were sort of wondering when we'd be able to go trick or treating at all. But time and fate converged nicely (and it only took ONE rum and coke!) and a good time was had by all. At 5:30, 3 of Chicks friends showed up bearing pizza and we all sat down to eat together. Chicks friends consisted of 2 very nice, polite, and friendly boys and one rather shyish girl. They ate and then began painting their faces and being goofy while my husband took Bear and Buddy to a few houses. When they returned, Chick et al was ready to go out and we gave Bear and Buddy their trades. My Bear and Buddy are following a dietary intervention for ADD and Learning Disablility called The Feingold Program (www.feingold.org). They trade in their candy for something else, which tonight was a new DVD for each. So they got their jammies on and went up to watch their movies. Chick et al arrived back safely but drenched from a sudden rainfall and they settled in for cake and punch and sorting candy before putting on "A Nightmare On Elm Street"... freaky! I'm sitting here in the next room and I can hear everything and I popped up once for a quick view and now I'm scarred for the night... I doubt I'll be able to sleep! I am such a wimp. I feel so violated by those scary flicks though! Chick just laughs at them. She's so much wiser and braver than me. Then again, I'm sitting here lonely and cold in the computer room and she is safe and warm in a huddle of teens.

The computer room! Oh my lucky day, the computer room! I'm doing a little happy dance here! When we moved into this house we turned the dining room into the computer room because the living room was small but there was a huge open area in the kitchen that seemed well suited for our informal and rather beat on table and chairs. I didn't WANT this, but husband thought it was for the best. So, we have a living room and an unused family room (whatever, I can never figure out which name goes with which room...) and our computer is in a wanna-be dining room. Ah! He gave in! I get a real dining room! Before Thanksgiving, we will move furniture around and I will get my dining room - complete with new dining room furniture! Woot! Can't wait! I'm slightly challenged with home decorating though so we'll just see how it turns out. Sigh... I'm so happy!

Bear will have a full speech eval on Wednesday. I'm happy and relieved. I feel like if we can find the root of her problems, we can work on them instead of working around them. Wish us luck.

Buddy drives me insane. He forgets... he procrastinates... he doesn't like to admit wrongdoing... he cannot see dirt... he can't see dirty underwear on the floor! I am feeling angry at him so much of the time. Angry at all his little faults, and angry that all my efforts to help him end in failure. I am angry at myself for being angry at him! He's just a boy... but I'm so afraid of him being a lousy excuse for a man at the rate he's going. It's hard work, the raising up of adults.

I am taking two days off this week. I'm off tomorrow and Wednesday. Full days. My husband is shocked. So am I! But I had plenty of hours in and so I nearly HAD to take off the time... and I'm so looking forward to it. If you don't know this, I've just started working daytime hours in a reliable job for the first time in 10 years. It's hard, for me at least, to adjust to working AND still juggling the responsibilities of being a mom and a wife. I can't just take "off" if I want to, can't just "put off" things 'til later, can't just decide last minute to do something like I had the freedom to when I was at home full time. I have such strong feelings of responsibility toward my job and my clients - I can't leave them behind when I'm done with work. Partly cuz we live in a small town, for instance, I saw 2 of my clients and their families trick or treat at my house tonight... now I am thinking of them and...sigh. But my two days off will be well deserved and much enjoyed.

We've turned the heat down to conserve some money. The thermostat reads 67 but I'm telling ya... with hardwood floors and high ceilings, it feels 62. I'm chilly, even in socks and a sweater. I can't wait to crawl into my bed with my flannel sheets and down comforter and snuggle deep... and I don't have to work tomorrow! That means: a ponytail,jeans, and sneakers! No ironing, no flattening my hair, no uncomfortable high heels...no fussing!

I've started a gluten free/dairy free/sugar free "diet". I'm hoping to make some allergy connections to improve my health and to eliminate some poundage. I've been gaining lately and it doesn't want to come off easily. Plus, it's winter, and I always gain a bit in the winter. This year I can't afford to do that! I've got 4 sizes of clothes and I simply cannot purchase another size! Plus, my dad will be here for Thanksgiving and when I saw him in August he sure had some comments on my newest size. Damn him.

Ugh... 8:30 pm and I'm soooo ready for bed but "Nightmare" is still on, teens are still sprawled in my living room (or is it the family room?) and I've time to waste yet... how about dinner dishes and doing lunches for tomorrow? Yep... guess I better get to it!